Paige Wilson, Author at TRC | London | Midlands | Edinburgh | Riyadh

Starting Therapy: A Gentle Guide for anyone feeling Unsure

Paige Wilson — Thu, 28 Aug 2025 14:46:50 +0000

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” — C.G. Jung

Starting therapy can feel daunting. I often tell clients that the first step is the hardest, and even reading this blog is a step in the right direction. Here we’ll explore common worries that arise when starting therapy, and name some of the stumbling blocks and teething issues that many people encounter early on in their therapeutic journey.

But first, let’s unpack a question that seems simple, but often isn’t:

1). What is therapy?

If you asked 100 therapists to define therapy, you’d likely get 100 different answers. Just as no two clients are the same, every therapist brings their own perspective to the work. I’m a relational integrative therapist, which means I believe the relationship between client and therapist is the vehicle for acceptance and change.

I draw on a range of approaches, from psychoanalysis to cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), and adapt each session to the individual I’m working with. But at its core, therapy is a safe, confidential space where you feel heard and supported. It’s a space where you can explore, understand, and make meaningful changes to your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.

You don’t have to be in crisis to start therapy. Many people begin because something just feels ‘off’ or stuck. Therapy isn’t just for emergencies; it’s for anyone, at any point in life.

2). What are the limitations of therapy?

It’s important to have realistic expectations when beginning therapy. Sometimes, people hope therapy will offer quick fixes, advice, or solutions; but that’s not how it works.

Therapists aren’t here to tell you what to do, and we won’t give prescriptive advice. Therapy is a collaborative process, and change takes time. A few sessions won’t solve everything, and any therapist who claims they can fix you instantly probably isn’t working ethically.

Therapists also work within strict ethical frameworks. If your therapist frequently cancels, overshares about their own life, or seems distracted during sessions, those may be signs of blurred boundaries. You deserve to feel respected and held in the work.

Therapists don’t have all the answers, and one of my favourite quotes on this comes from Gestalt therapist Fritz Perls: “If I had the answer, I would give it to you. But I don’t have the answer, and you don’t either. That’s why we’re here together.”

3). Finding the right therapist for you.

The relationship between therapist and client is one of the most important predictors of therapeutic success and so it’s vital to find someone you feel comfortable with.

Start by thinking about the kinds of people you tend to feel most at ease with. Do you find it easier to talk to men or women? Do you connect more with people close to your age, or do you open up more with those who are older or younger?

Much like any relationship, when you find the right therapist, there’s often a sense of ‘clicking.’ That said, it might take a few tries before if feels like the right fit, and that’s perfectly normal. Whenever I meet with a new client, I encourage them to reflect not just on what we talked about, but how they felt in the room with me.

You don’t need to feel totally vulnerable right away, but if something feels persistently ‘off,’ it’s okay to explore other options. There are many types of therapy and therapists out there, and you deserve to find someone who fits.

4). I’ve found a therapist I am comfortable with. Now what?

You’ve done something courageous: you reached out for help and found someone you’re comfortable with. Now it’s time for the first session.

This can feel strange. After all, how often do we sit in a room with someone we don’t know and speak openly about our deepest vulnerabilities, especially while they say little about themselves in return?

The first couple of sessions are usually exploratory. Your therapist may ask about your upbringing, key relationships, or life experiences. Even if you’ve come with a specific issue like social anxiety, they’ll want to get to know the whole picture of you, not just the problem.

You don’t need to arrive with a list. Just show up, as you are. Your therapist will meet you there.

5). Remember, it’s your therapy session.

Therapy works best when you feel safe. If your therapist asks something you’re not ready to answer, it’s okay to say so. There’s no pressure to share everything all at once.

Some topics can feel too raw, especially early on. Until a foundation of trust is built, you might want to take things slowly, and that’s not just okay, it’s healthy. If you feel overwhelmed, let your therapist know. They’ll respect your boundaries and adjust the pace accordingly.

6). Dealing with the emotional aftermath.

Many people feel an emotional ‘hangover’ after their first few sessions. Sometimes, talking about difficult relationships or long-buried emotions can feel like a betrayal, particularly if you’re not used to being this open.

That’s a common and very human response. Therapy is confidential, and the more you can bring of yourself, the more you’re likely to get from it.

If you leave a session feeling especially raw or unsettled, let your therapist know. These reactions are rich with meaning and can offer important insight into your process. Therapy often stirs things up before they settle. You may even catch yourself wondering, “Why did I sign up for this?”

Know that you’re not alone, and most people (including your therapist!) have probably felt that way at some point.

Final thoughts

Every qualified therapist in the UK has gone through personal therapy during their training. We’ve sat in the exact position you’re in now; uncertain, vulnerable, maybe even a little resistant. We know how brave it is to start.

If you’ve made it to the end of this blog, well done! You’ve already taken a meaningful step towards prioritising your wellbeing.

If you still have questions, we’re here to help. Our team at TRC is always happy to talk through any concerns you might have about starting therapy.

When it comes to therapy, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Whenever you’re ready, we’ll be here.

References:

Jung, C.G., 1958. The Undiscovered Self. London: Routledge.

Perls, F.S., Hefferline, R.F. and Goodman, P., 1951. Gestalt Therapy: Excitement and Growth in the Human Personality. New York: Julian Press.

Author: Paige Wilson

Psychotherapist

The post Starting Therapy: A Gentle Guide for anyone feeling Unsure appeared first on TRC | London | Midlands | Edinburgh | Riyadh.

Navigating Identity and Mental Health: Understanding the Connection

Paige Wilson — Tue, 01 Jul 2025 11:56:50 +0000

“Who even am I?”

It’s a big question — one that pops up regularly through the course of life, and there may be times where it feels like it’s on a constant loop in the background. Identity is about more than just labels or categories — it’s how we understand ourselves, how we relate to others, and how we find our place in the world.

But what happens when that sense of self feels confusing, fragile, or constantly shifting? There is an essential connection between identity and mental health, and here, we’ll explore that what identity really means, reminding ourselves that it’s okay not to have everything figured out, and how to begin navigating it all without getting totally overwhelmed.

What is Identity?

First, let’s break down what identity really means. Identity breaks down to the core building blocks of what makes you who you are. Essentially, it is your internal answer to the question: “Who am I?”

It might include things like:

Your gender and sexuality
Your culture, ethnicity or religion
How your brain works (neurodiversity, learning styles, mental health)
Your values, interests, passions — what really matters to you.

Certain parts of your identity are ever evolving, and exploration is key when thinking about finding our identity. However, if that exploration feels unsafe or unsupported, it can have a real impact on mental health. Feeling like you must hide parts of yourself, change to fit in, or carry shame for who you are can lead to anxiety, low

Mental Health and Identity:

Struggling with questions around our own identity can have meaningful impact on our mental health. By knowing the signs and feeling able to recognise when something feels “off”, it makes it easier to know when and how to reach out for support.

Everyone’s experience is different, but if you’re finding it hard to connect with who you are, it might show up in ways like:

Feeling disconnected from yourself or unsure what you enjoy anymore
Constantly comparing yourself to others or feeling like you don’t “measure up”
Changing how you act around different people just to fit in
Feeling low, anxious, irritable or empty without knowing exactly why
Worrying something is “wrong” with you for being different

When the World Makes It Harder:

Identity doesn’t form in a vacuum. We are always receiving messages from our environment that help shape us and our identities. These messages can come from family, school, culture, social media, and even friend groups. Sometimes, it can feel like our identity is being shaped for us, which can feel constricting and unhelpful as we try to navigate who we want to be.

You might be dealing with:

Pressure to conform or “pick a box” before you’re ready
Cultural or religious expectations that conflict with how you feel
Lack of representation – not seeing people like you in the media or around you
Discrimination or judgment, which can lead to shame or self-doubt

When those around you don’t reflect or accept who you are, it’s easy to start questioning your worth.

Tips for Exploring Your Identity Safely:

If you’re feeling curious about your identity but unsure where to start, remember, you don’t need all the answers right now. Identity can shift and evolve throughout your life. But here are some ways to gently explore and support your sense of self:

Write about it – journaling can help you process thoughts and feelings that feel tangled in your head
Engage in creative expression – music, art, fashion, or writing can give you space to express parts of yourself that don’t fit into words
Talk to someone who feels safe – a trusted adult, therapist or friend can offer perspective and validation
Find community – online spaces, support groups or clubs where people “get it” can help you feel less alone
Unfollow pressure – curate your social media to include more voices that make you feel seen, not scrutinised

Final Thoughts:

At TRC, our team of therapists are here to support you with whatever you’re carrying — whether it’s questions about identity, struggles with your mental health, or just wanting to feel a bit more you. You’re allowed to take up space exactly as you are, even if you’re still figuring that out.

Author: Paige Wilson

Psychotherapist

The post Navigating Identity and Mental Health: Understanding the Connection appeared first on TRC | London | Midlands | Edinburgh | Riyadh.

Screen Time and Mental Health: Finding the Right Balance

Paige Wilson — Thu, 26 Jun 2025 16:12:42 +0000

Screens are an unavoidable part of modern life. From schoolwork and socialising to gaming, scrolling, and streaming, a lot of our day happens on a screen. And while phones, tablets, and laptops can keep us connected and entertained, they can also take a toll on our mental wellbeing — especially when we struggle to find the off-switch.

The Mental Health Impact of Screen Time:

Screens aren’t the enemy — it’s more about how we’re using them. Certain types of screen time can support your wellbeing, while others can leave you feeling drained, disconnected, or anxious.

You might notice things like:

Mood dips after long stretches of scrolling
Sleep struggles when you’re on your phone late at night
Anxious thoughts or comparison spirals from social media
Brain fog or lack of motivation after too much passive screen use
Feeling wired, overwhelmed, or like your brain never gets to “power down”

When Screen Time Helps:

Not all screen time is bad. In fact, some of it can be beneficial for your mental health:

Connecting with friends or online communities that help you feel seen and understood
Learning new skills, ideas or perspectives
Escaping when things feel too much — watching a funny show or playing a game can offer healthy distraction
Expressing yourself through creativity, whether that’s art, writing, or posting content you enjoy

The key is to check-in with yourself regularly, and notice how different types of screen time make you feel.

Signs It Might Be Time for a Reset:

It’s not always easy to notice when screen time is affecting your mental health, but here are some red flags to watch for:

Struggling to fall asleep or waking up feeling unrefreshed
Feeling low or irritable after time online
Losing interest in offline activities you used to enjoy
Noticing your focus dwindling after short periods of time
Using screens to avoid difficult feelings — and still feeling worse afterwards

How to Find a Healthier Balance:

Small, realistic shifts can make a big difference to our screen time habits:

Set mini time-outs – Try “no phone” zones (like at meals or 30 minutes before bed)
Get outside, even briefly — a change of scene resets your brain
Use “Do Not Disturb” – Mute notifications during homework, rest, or catch-ups with friends
Curate your feed – Follow people/accounts that uplift you, not ones that drain you
Check in with your body – If your eyes hurt, back aches, or brain feels fuzzy, take a break.

Final Thoughts:

Screens aren’t going anywhere — and they don’t have to. What matters is finding a rhythm that supports your mental health, rather than chips away at it. When used with intention, screen time can help you connect, create, and unwind. But it’s also okay to take a step back, protect your headspace, and be present in the world beyond the screen.

Author: Paige Wilson

Psychotherapist

The post Screen Time and Mental Health: Finding the Right Balance appeared first on TRC | London | Midlands | Edinburgh | Riyadh.